Asim & Tamreez

Hilary Clinton’s latest visit to Pakistan this week ended up in the reiteration of the same old messages and not-so-covert threats. The key message boils down to “we want more from Paksitan” and the warning this time being:

“There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that should an attack against the United States be traced to be Pakistani it would have a very devastating impact on our relationship”

It’s quite interesting to me that the Americans who have no idea themselves what they’re doing in the region and especially when their policy and war operation is in tatters in Afghanistan, still have the gall to dictate terms to Pakistan in such a high-handed fashion. Of course when they come armed with $500M in aid money from the Kerry Lugar Berman Bill (when was Berman added to the infamous Kerry Lugar Bill? I need to read more) that our government is quite keen to accept, it’s hard for the Pakistan government to speak out against such statements.

To be fair, there were some positive statements from Mrs. Clinton and an acknowledgement that the anti-US feelings amongst the Pakistani population are quite high. She said,

“We know that there is a perception held by too many Pakistanis that America’s commitment to them begins and ends with security,” said Mrs Clinton, who also held talks with Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari, while in Islamabad.

“We have not done a good enough job of connecting our partnership with concrete improvements in the lives of Pakistanis. With this dialogue, we are working to change that.”

There was also the announcement of a historic trade deal between Afghanistan and Pakistan that opens up Pakistan’s borders to the Afghans to reach India. While it sounds like a positive development to me for the Afghans and may go to improve relations between Pakistan and Afghanistan, I’m still not clear how it would impact Pak-India relations. I hope it’s a positive step but so high is my skepticism of anything brokered by the Americans, that I feel quite wary.

The topic that I was most interested to hear about, the drone attacks in Pakistan, Clinton refused to comment on. Apparently there is no officially stated American policy on drone attacks. The Pakistan government publicly denounces but tacitly condones them. A BBC report noted that according to a conservative estimate over 200 people have died just in 2010 from drone attacks being carried out in Waziristan. While the tribal leaders keep screaming that these attacks are indiscriminately killing civillians, men women and children, they continue with the collusion of our government. It seems then the only people left who are speaking out (and ‘doing’ something) against this injustice are the radical anti-Pakistan elements. Is it any wonder then that the insurgency in Waziristan keeps mounting and the ordinary ‘citizen’ in these areas is a Taliban sympathizer?

If we don’t re-evaluate our counterinsurgency strategy, stop these attacks and stop selling our national sovereignty in return for aid packages, we will be in deep trouble. In fact we already are in deep trouble, I’m not sure what it would take for the government to realize that.

Running the 10K this weekend was a memorable experience. It’s amazing how much we can push our bodies. For someone who hardly runs, it was a painful but rewarding experience. FTCF continues to impress with it’s support for education in Pakistan and yet continues to be our favourite charity to support.

I agree with Anthony Robins when he says that “the secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.”

It’s become a trend in Pakistan that any musician who gets a decent amount of fame, then moves over to produce music in India. I watched Sajjad Ali’s interview some time back and he said that it was now close to impossible to remain profitable by just producing music in Pakistan. While this route may work for those singing more mainstream stuff, albeit with awesome voices like Atif Aslam or Rahat Ali Khan, those who are more cutting edge and quirky ‘rock’ bands should really not cross the border. These bands just end up softening their rough edges, selling sickly sweet songs to Bollywood movies and that ultimately spells their demise.

Today while listening to one of the new Coke Studio songs I remembered a Pakistani band ‘Call’ and wondered if they had produced any songs with Coke Studio and why I hadn’t heard of them for a while. Call made it really big around 2003-2005 with their album Jilawatan. Their songs ‘Sab Bhula Ke’ and ‘Nishaan’ were on people’s repeat playlists for months. Everybody wanted to go to a Call concert.

Then they went over to the Indian side to sing ‘Laaree Chhooti” for a Bollywood film (the song itself wasn’t bad) and then another one ‘Dhadkay Jiya’ (a lot more mellow but still good) and that’s sort of it. The sort of edgy music they started off with is no where to be seen.I just googled to see what was happening with them and it turns out they are now reduced to making jingles for Walls ice cream! Listen to their songs ‘Sab Bhula Ke’ and ‘Nishaan’ and then listen to one of their new songs. It came as a shock to me.

I would be pissed off if it weren’t almost tragic that our musicians all go down this commercial route! Is it really not viable to produce original edgy music any more?

Choudhary Saab, a close friend of mine is visiting London for a couple of weeks. I must say that he has no association with the famous Choudhary bradaran, neither is Choudhary part of his name. It’s just that he is from Lahore and hence the name Choudhary Saaab. In return, I get to be ‘Khan Saab’.

Choudhary Saab started a business in Lahore after completing his education in UK about 3 years ago and considers himself fairly settled in Pakistan now. On a great day this weekend we had a long serious chat about ‘life in Pakistan’.

“Life in Pakistan is not easy anymore”, he said when I shared my interest in setting up a social enterprise in Pakistan. Our discussion opened up a pandora’s box of questions in my head.

I have been in the UK for almost a decade now and I can’t believe it’s been that long. Although I am lucky to be in constant touch with the day to day affairs of my home country in this digital media age and I have been visiting at least twice a year, yet I feel I don’t know anything about living a day to day life in Pakistan. You in Pakistan, must be nodding your head saying ‘duh’.

Things have changed ‘a lot’ in these 10 years. Can I still fit in with the home crowd?

Over a latte and a lemon juice, Choudhary Saab passionately shared the story of struggle. The umpteen tales of blatant corruption and the acceptance of it being ‘normal’ and ‘necessary to survive’ is a scary fact. The palaces of the Sharifs and Zardaris are becoming more and more lavish by the day whereas life for the poor is still a living hell. The constantly rising prices of basic edibles are running people amok and everyday the newspapers are full of tragic stories of families committing collective suicide. There is no middle class in Pakistan anymore, either you are filthy rich or you are struggling to keep up with the day to day living. Choudhary Saab, paid Rs 35,000 (£270) for his last “monthly” electricity bill, and that shocked me. Considering there is no electricity most of the time anyway and that he lives in a family of three, this is ridiculously high.

I was reminded that I have been living out of the country for a long time and I should think a thousand times before even thinking to think about living in Pakistan now. The discussion surprisingly did not squelch my passion of setting up a Social Enterprise in Pakistan and instead made me even more interested in thinking about ‘life in Pakistan’. I realised for the first time that I have been away for too long and am becoming alien to my own homeland.

I really want to play a role in making a difference in Pakistan and I don’t know what that smells, feels and tastes like at the moment but the idea has certainly come into existence an as entity in my world.

This morning I thought “Ugh it’s just one of those days. There’s nothing I can do about it. It’s going to be horrible”.

This outburst was brought about by the bus driver (connecting from Oxford city centre to my office) who said I could not travel on my ticket ( that I’d bought from London to Oxford for the same bus company). I explained to him that I had been doing that for the past one month and I had had no issues with it. Every other bus driver had accepted it. I was told that I needed to get an accompanying connector pass (for no additional cost) but I should have done that at the time of purchase. To cut a long story short, my futile attempts at arguing did me no good and I had to buy an extra ticket for £2.40 in addition to the £16 I’d already paid. I sat down in my seat fuming that the stupid man had ruined my morning and hence my day.

Just as I sat down, a guy came and sat behind me and said “sister, what was this connector pass he was talking about? I travel from London to Oxford every week and I didn’t know we could get free connection buses within Oxford”. I explained to him that you could. I’d been getting them for a month but apparently you needed to also get the pass at the time of purchase. He seemed really happy about that and said, “Wow, I didn’t know. This is great”. The expression on my face must’ve told him that I still wasn’t pleased and I told him I was upset about being overcharged. He said “Don’t worry about it. These things happen. You never know this one little setback in some weird way may have prevented something worse from happening. Think of it as sadaqa (charity)”. I thought I’d rather give my charity to some place that deserves it rather than irate bus drivers. But just then I remembered that that’s what Mama always says too. Whenever we lose money or a belonging and are feeling really bad about it, she says “think of it as charity and if that’s your intention, then you’ll get the reward for it even if someone stole it”.

Then the person reminded me of a hadees quoting the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) as saying that when something good happens to a Muslim, he is satisfied and thanks God. But also when something bad happens, a Muslim is satisfied knowing that God must have something better in store for him.

I just let go of whatever resentment or anger I was feeling at that point telling myself it was such a little thing, I shouldn’t ruin my day over it. I just smiled. I thanked the brother (I never really call people ‘brothers’ but this guy deserves it) and told him that he really cheered me up and that inshallah I’d have a great day.

And I did.

Yesterday was a great day. It was bright and sunny but with a cool breeze. As Asim was watering the plants, I made breakfast and we had it outside in the garden. With the breeze blowing, it was one of the most calming feelings in the world. I realize I sound like I’m 50 when I admit that, but I’ve always been an old soul :)

Later we went for a run (ahem: more like a jog cum brisk walk) and I came home absolutely red in the face but feeling great. In the afternoon, we went for an introduction to the Landmark Forum that Asim had organized as part of a course he’s doing (I drove!) and then met up with our respective circle of friends (I met up with two friends from my work who I did my internship with and Asim met up with two university friends one of whom is visiting from Paksitan!). We first sat outside for an hour or so just gossiping and catching up with our iced frappes and coffees and then moved indoors to a nearby Nando’s and continued chatting (with loads of leg-pulling and crazy laughter) over dinner! I don’t think I had laughed so much in weeks! :D

After I got home (it was about 11), I still had the energy to tidy up my room and kitchen. When the house is clean, especially my room, my mind feels relaxed and uncluttered (hmm somebody wise said that not too long ago and I absolutely agree..lol). With flowers by my bedside and fresh clean sheets smelling of lavender, I fell asleep in seconds completely at peace with myself and life! :)

Great days come in all shapes and sizes. It really depends on what you need at the time. It could be a day spent in bed watching a movie; or laughing with friends and cleaning your home! I realize that the weather usually, not always, plays a huge part in it too. Make the most of the summer sunshine (or in Pakistan’s case the monsoons) while we have it!

What makes a day ‘great’ for you? :)

courtesy: www.craftyco.com

I passed my driving test today! I feel so light. This was my second attempt and at some point during the test I thought “Oh I think I’ve failed, what’s the point now?” so when the examiner told me at the end that I had passed, I asked him again if I had. He said, “Have you gone a bit deaf? How come your listening is affected now?” lol. Ok so that wasn’t a really pc comment, but it was music to my ears!

I gave my instructor a big slice of my leftover birthday cake (pink with ballerina slippers, in case you’re interested) with my thanks.

I think the two things I’m most excited about are:

1. My family will most probably be visiting me sometime in August (as soon as they get their visas) and I’m really looking forward to being able to drive them around.

2. Commuting to Oxford would become a bit easier and more flexible when I have the option of driving! I may have to leave home really early to beat rush hour traffic and all that, but for now I’m not thinking about it.

Anyone want a ride? :)

In addition of all the facebook and mobile wishes here are some more :). Wish you a very happy birthday.

Lots of love,
Asim

Happy birthday Tamreez!

It’s been two weeks since I started work at Oxfam as a campaigner on their Conflict & Humanitarian campaign.

We are currently focusing on two priority countries: Afghanistan and the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). Joining the team made me realize how little I know, or care, about some countries such as the Congo. Also, it’s easy to forget and then move on to the next disaster or emergency. When I was narrating to Asim the horrors of the violence and human rights abuses happening in the DRC, known as the ‘rape capital of the world’, he was shocked and asked me why we didn’t hear about it more often. That’s a good question. I guess it’s because we’re only concerned about things that either directly affect us or relate to some part of our identity or those that are super politicised. Of course it’s not possible to know or care about every country out there, but being in international development and concerned about such issues, I feel I should know something about everything!

The only downside of the job is that I’m commuting on average 2.5 hours each way. That’s 5 hours of journey time a day! Some days I’ve been so exhausted that I come home and hit the bed and then it’s hard to even get up and eat dinner. But the actual commute itself, apart from when the tube gets delayed, is not too bad. I take a book along with me or nap on the way back. Thanks to my commute, I finally finished my thick copy of the White Mughals. Now I’m reading Orhan Pamuk’s ‘Istanbul: Memories of a city’. I love Turkey. It’s an unconditional irrational love founded on nothing more than that as a kid I was told my name was Turkish. That’s it. And that makes it on top of my list of places to see in the world.

Sorry I digress :) Coming back to work…

These two weeks passed by in a blur. I feel like I’ve been there for ages. I was super busy but I didn’t feel overwhelmed. That’s a good sign right? But in other ways, I also feel terribly new. I realize I’ve got a lot to learn to feel confident about what I’m doing. My first boss in Pakistan, this amazing woman who I was totally intimidated by, had once said to me that I seemed like I was in a hurry to get somewhere very fast. I needed to learn to walk first before I ran. I see that about myself now. I want to learn everything right away. I want to be able to come up with great world-changing projects overnight. I want to be able to sit in meetings with all the ‘big guys’ and not feel stupid or intimidated. I want to be able to say amazing insightful things that people would listen to. Basically, I want to be amazing. Lol. I know I know, by saying all that, I admit what an ambitious little kid I am :D

The people on my team are great and the whole place is incredibly friendly. I love the atmosphere. It’s got such a great buzz about it. I remember talking to a friend some time back when I told him having visited Oxfam House for a meeting (I was doing an internship in London for Oxfam before this job), I fell in love with the place. I can’t describe what I felt but it was almost like a longing to want to be a part of something like that. An organisation that I respected; a workplace that was nice and friendly and where I would enjoy working. Oh yeah and did I mention, the food is great! Yes I have my priorities very clearly defined: buzz, people, respect and food.

Walking in to work or sitting down for lunch or when I have a moment to reflect (sometimes in the prayer room), I look around me and can’t believe I’m where I wanted to be. If in a few months from now I start whining about work or lose my starry-eyed optimism, please smack me.

Coke Studio is one of the best things that has happened to the Pakistani music scene in a while. Yes, I’m even willing to overlook the overt commercialization/branding that goes with a multinational like Coke. The music Rohail Hayat has produced has been absolutely phenomenal. The fusion of folk and western forms of music has worked so well. And it’s not even ‘fusion’ as we’re used to. It takes fusion to a completely new level. It almost sounds like a cliche but this really is mesmerizing music.

I’m in love with this new song ‘Alif Allah Chambey di Booti’…have been listening to it on repeat. Was a bit skeptical of Meesha Shafi’s vocal talents, but she hasn’t done bad. Arif Lohar has gained new-found respect. We grew up watching him with his funny bright satin shiny clothes and the quintessential ‘chimta’. The beauty of Coke Studio is that it makes you appreciate folk singers and their art without thinking it’s comical or out of place. Wonderful stuff! Enjoy!